My Story - Part 2

Shortly after arriving at Matt’s party I saw Nicole and Matt dancing… very close among other things. I was devastated… this was my best friend and the “love of my life“ (or so I thought when I was 14)… acting very inappropriately. How could they do that? I reevaluated my friendship and reconnected with Carrie again. As far as I was concerned Matt was out of my life and I was moving on. Of course that lasted for about a month and Matt called me on night and told me to turn on my radio. He had requested “Everything I do, I do it for you” by Bryan Adams and there it was on the radio. How could I say No to that?? On again we were. And to this day I can’t hear that song and not think of him.

It was the summer between my 8th grade and Freshman year that I became friends with Nicole Maupin. Nicole had a cousin… his name was Josh Love. Nicole lived right next to her grandma who happened to be Josh’s grandma as well. As luck would have it Josh was close to his grandma and spent a lot of time there. I pretty much lived at Nicole’s house that summer. Becoming closer and closer to her family which meant closer and closer to Josh’s family. His sister and I actually became friends… although she was 3 years younger then me. I really really came to like this family, but nothing became of Josh and I. I was still “dating” Matt but noticed I thought of Josh more and more each day.

Freshman year started in August and Matt and I were still “on”. Things seemed to be going really well with him. We went to lunch together, talked on the phone every night and spent as much time as we could away from school together. But that month something changed. To this day I cannot put my finger on it but there wasn’t those feelings for him any longer. I had fallen so hard for him over this 3 year span that I couldn’t imagine not being with him but he and I both knew it was time to move on. I was devastated because I knew this one would be permanent, not like all the times before where we would be back together in a week but permanent. And it was…. In October of my Freshman year I said goodbye to him for good and over the next few months I forgot about him more and more with each day.. It was May of my freshman year when Nicole and I headed to the Jordan Valley rodeo and I ran into Josh… we connected that night like I never had with Matt. I knew right then that Josh was good for me. But nothing ever came of Josh and I… we got along great, he was incredibly good looking and a super nice guy but we were just friends. He or I was always “dating” someone else when we would pop up into each others lives.

The months went on and I dated a few other guys but nothing serious. I got my drivers license, had a serious car accident, started my first job and went on with my life seeing Josh here and there in between but never anything more then a hug and a how are you. We once ran into each other at a party briefly and talked for hours, even shared a kiss but that was the extent of it. Josh had a girlfriend at the time who was a good friend of mine so I really never thought much more about him and I ever having any kind of future together.

It was the beginning of my Junior year before I would really notice him again… the same way I noticed him that day my 6th grade year. He was in his dads Chevy pick up when he came to the drive up window of the fast food restaurant where I worked. He had changed so much during the summer before. He had been rodeoing all summer and had been gone traveling across the state so I had not seen him for a few months. When he rolled down his window he took my breath away.. He was so much more then I remembered. He flirted briefly with me and drove away. It was right then and there that I knew my life had changed… that there wasn’t going to be anymore Hi’s and nothing else, that whatever it took we would try out more then a friendship and see where it would take us. He came back in later that evening and asked me what time I got off of work.